How did I get here...again?

I recently read (in a very reliable tabloid) that celebrities are finally admitting how much work they have to do to stay in shape.  One actress said that she hates running and would never do it again if she had the choice.  For years, many celebrities have made it seem like doing yoga and taking the dogs for a walk were all they needed to do to stay a size 2.  It turns out that most of them spend a few hours, six days a week, working out.  Shocking?  Not really.  We already knew it, but it is refreshing to hear them admit it.

Two and a half months ago, I was doing great.  I'd finally gotten into a workout rhythm.  Weights 2x week and cardio 2x week.  I felt stronger and my pants were looser.  After a number of weeks of gaining weight or plateauing (I think due to building muscle), I finally started to lose weight.  Most importantly, my eating habits were great.  All-in-all, I was feeling good as I rounded the corner to Thanksgiving.  I was feeling so good, in fact, that I didn't think a few minor (haha) changes would set me back.

On Thanksgiving day, we moved across the country and into my parents' basement.  The next week, my husband and I each started new jobs and Tobias started in a new school.  I was no longer a stay-at-home mom with Adelaide.  A few weeks later, we bought a new house and moved our stuff, once again, on New Year's Eve.  Oh, did I mention that I also had two grad school classes to finish up in December?  Two 20-page papers later, I was done.

What happened may not shock you at all, but I was a little surprised.  My workout routine and eating success completely unraveled.  Two months later, I have almost nothing to show for my hard work this fall.  I keep stepping on the scale to see how much weight I've gained, but the numbers have barely changed.  This seems almost worse than gaining weight because I know that I'm just turning all of my muscle into fat.  My muscle...that took months to build...reduced to fat.  It is so disappointing.

I've also rediscovered junk food that has been taboo in my life for years.  Cake, cookies, candy--I've indulged in them all!  The other day I found myself finishing off a bag of Chips Ahoy cookies.  They aren't even GOOD chocolate chip cookies!  What was I thinking?

This evening, I started to wallow in a little bit of self-pity.  I am not this person.  I am not the person that eats a bag of crappy cookies and sits on the couch.  I'm an athlete.  I eat healthy food that gives me energy and strength.  I have strong willpower and determination.  I started searching for triathlons to do this summer and I strengthened my resolve.

Tonight, I resisted the M&Ms and grabbed an apple as I watched "The Biggest Loser."  Tomorrow morning, I'm heading to the gym.  My first triathlon is just four months away and I'm determined to be ready.  It took just eight weeks to get back out-of-shape, but the return will take longer.  Perhaps this will be the time that it sticks. 

Like the Backstreet Boys, I'm back and better than ever!

I have lots of excuses.  Would you like to hear them?
1) I've had a pretty bad cold for a couple weeks now.
2) My knee cap has been popping in and out of place.  Two weeks ago at the gym it dislocated for a number of seconds and I fell to the ground.  My knee was super sore for a couple days.
3) School is keeping me busy--tons of homework and not enough time.
4) Kevin was out of town last weekend and I was a single parent for four days.
5) Bad news about the unexpected death of a friend.
6) Despite my commitment to working out and eating right, the weight on the scale continued to creep up day-after-day.

About two weeks ago, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.  I was sick, tired and sad.  Although I'd been following "the plan," I had gained four pounds.  Remember the 10 pounds of baby weight I was trying to lose?  It was now 12.  I don't know enough about weight training to know if this is expected, so I was concerned.  I found comfort in Pretzel M&Ms.  Obviously, in retrospect, this was not the best way to handle what was happening, but I don't always handle stress well.

After a couple days of Pretzel M&Ms, I realized I had a problem when I moved onto the bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms.  Higher if fat and calories, the Peanut Butter M&Ms were my rock bottom.  Halfway through the bag, I knew that I needed to get back on the wagon.  The best part of living with eight teenage boys is their ability to make junk food disappear.  I put the Peanut Butter M&Ms in a dish on the table after school and they were devoured within minutes.

I also decided to seek some help...from a personal trainer at the gym.   I have to be able to gain muscle and lose weight at the same time.  They do it all the time on the Biggest Loser!  Stacy, at Prairie Life, was more than willing to help me reach my goals.  I'm going to meet with her and take her group weightlifting class for the next couple months.  I feel better about our plan and I'm looking forward to learning a lot over the next eight weeks.

Oh, and of course, all that concern was for nothing.  The four pounds I thought I'd gained mysteriously disappeared the next week.  Tobias' birthday is in just three weeks and I'm still eight pounds away from my goal.  It's not going to happen, but I think I'm on the right path.  We all have excuses, but I'm tired of using them.  Are YOU ready to buck up? 

Measuring Success with a New Ruler

I was torn this week. Torn because I really didn't want to blog about my results this week, but I wanted to be open and honest about my struggles. So, the big bummer is that I actually gained a pound this week. I have no idea how or why, but that's what the scale said this morning--and apparently scales don't lie. I ate pretty well this week--staying well within my WW "points"--but I probably could have made some healthier choices. I also had a great week at the gym. Two days of weightlifting and two days of cardio. I'm sure there is a good reason why the scale was tipped this week, but Bob and Jillian aren't here to help me figure it out. I've decided to not make any changes and continue what I'm doing for a couple more weeks. Maybe all of this will balance out.

My bigger issue is trying to stay positive. How do you celebrate success when you are unsuccessful? If losing weight is my only measuring stick, then I may be disappointed often. Instead, I can decide to celebrate the fact that I started a weightlifting program and I ran for 18 minutes instead of 15. Isn't that the way it is with many things in life? Yes, we all have goals, but sometimes it is unrealistic to wait until we reach the finish line to start celebrating.

For example...Adelaide is potty-training and she is definitely charting a new course. She is awesome at staying dry. She even gets up in the middle of the night to go potty and is still dry in the morning. She has it mastered...until you get to the dreaded #2. The girl refuses to go poopy on the toilet. We've tried a chart, we've tried prizes, we've tried keeping her naked all day. Nothing works. She just waits until you finally put underwear back on her, hides in her room while you are busy, and does her business in her undies. We are all getting pretty frustrated and it seems like we will never be "successful." This morning, though, she tried something new. She'd been running around naked all morning and I was hoping she'd eventually have to go. I was in the office for a little while when Adelaide came in and told me her pull-up was dirty. The girl had crawled up onto her dresser, found a pull-up and put it on so she could do her thing. No, this is not where we eventually want to be, but I was actually quite proud of her. I didn't have to wash any underwear and she had solved the problem for herself. Instead of getting upset, I praised her for being so resourceful.

So, I'm going to do the same this week. I didn't #2 on the toilet, but I did make some really positive choices for my health. I committed to working out and I followed through. I didn't always make the BEST choices with my diet, but I didn't give up or give in. This week was a success--perhaps not on the scale, but in a much larger sense.

The Strategy

Week one was a success. I managed to lose two pounds. That might sound impressive, but don't be fooled. These two pounds have come and gone more than a few times over the last year. Still, though, I'm proud. Mostly, I'm proud that I made some really positive changes this week. First and foremost, I started eating better. Ever since I went on vacation this summer, my eating habits have been pretty crappy. I used to eat quite healthy, but lately I found myself eating Reese's Miniature PB Cups by the bagful.

I have been a connoisseur of diets for most of my adult life. Truth be told, in the beginning, my "diets" more closely resembled an eating disorder, but we'll save that for the made-for-TV movie. My friend and I once tried Body for Life. We had great success with the exercise/weightlifting portion of the diet, but not as much with the eating plan. Around this same time, I also tried the South Beach Diet. I didn't lose any weight--most likely because I ate my weight in peanut butter every day. My only success has really been with Weight Watchers. I used their plan when I experienced the "first-wed forty." That's much like the freshman fifteen, but more serious. I went back to Weight Watchers when I had Tobias and was able to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight just in time to get pregnant again.

This week, I went back to the Weight Watchers plan. I kept track of what I was eating and limited myself to the allotted points. I think I eat about 1500-1800 calories/day on the Weight Watchers plan, but I'm not really positive. It wasn't hard--I just had to cut out the candy, cookies and sweets. I'm a sweets kind of girl. Go chocolate, or go home! Instead of the high calorie, high fat sweets, I opted for Skinny Cow Candy Bars and Fiber One Brownies. No, they aren't as good as the real ones, but they do the job.

My second big move was to join (or rejoin) a gym. We dropped our membership this winter when I had surgery and we were planning to move. It has been almost nine months since my knee surgery. Time to get back on the horse. I went running three times and met with a trainer for my "jump start" free-training session. The running was brutal, but I've learned not to expect too much. Slow and steady wins the race, right? I only ran 15 minutes each time, but you've got to start somewhere. My training session was awesome. I have never a very good weightlifter, but it is one thing I've thought a lot about doing. I would really like to be more toned, and that isn't going to happen by just losing another ten pounds. The trainer worked me hard. I felt like I was on the Biggest Loser. Since I couldn't walk the next day or sit down on the toilet, I think it is safe to say that I had a good workout.

I'm off to a good start and I hope my motivation sticks around for awhile. Eight pounds to go and just six weeks until Tobias' sixth birthday. Thanks for all your support!