Four spills into dinner, I was about ready to explode. As
the milk started pouring onto the floor, I jumped up to grab some paper towels
and yelled at my daughter. She ran to her room and started crying. Suddenly,
the old saying, “don’t cry over spilled milk,” ran through my head. It’s just
milk. Yes, it was the fourth time that someone had spilled during dinner, but
it’s just milk. I cleaned up the mess and went into my daughter’s room to
apologize for yelling. Thankfully, my four-year-old is pretty forgiving and we
were best friends again by the time we made it back to the dinner table.
Parenting is hard, and I don’t always feel adequate. I tend
to get overly upset about some of the silliest things. Sometimes I think I
spend almost as much time apologizing to my kids as they do to me. The other
day I was having lunch with a woman that I was interviewing for a story. She is
a licensed parent educator. I quickly realized that the notes I was taking were
just as much for me as they were for the story. Towards the end of our lunch, I
started lamenting about where my kids would be as teenagers.
I have worked with teens for almost fifteen years. Having
spent years in youth ministry, I was once pretty good at connecting with teens
and building relationships with them. After seven years at one of the best
behavioral treatment facilities for troubled teens, I became an expert at
discipline and teaching social skills. I often joke (but I’m actually seriously
terrified) that all my experience pretty much guarantees that my children will
be rebellious and difficult teenagers. Sort-of the “preacher’s kid” phenomenon.
My lunch companion, though, told me to stop that sort of
thinking.
If I use all that I’ve
learned and raise my kids with structure, love, discipline, and faith, I don’t
have to assume the worst.
The other day, I was helping out in my son’s first grade
Sunday School class. I watched in horror as one of the kids talked back to the
teacher and disrupted the lesson. The
child was quick to say, “Why do I have to listen to you?” after every prompt
and request. (On a more funny note…he also told us that the Bible verse was
saying that 9000 boys were supposed to kiss girls.) During the entire hour, I
watched my son listen quietly, raise his hand to answer questions, and follow
instructions. I was SO proud.
I may not be doing everything right, but I must have my
moments. So far, I haven’t completely screwed up my kids. With fingers crossed and constant prayer, I continue to fumble through parenthood. My kids might not always make it easy, but they definitely deserve my best efforts.
