I used to be a straight-A student, but now I'm failing kindergarten.

Confession...in the past four weeks, Tobias has failed 3 out of 4 spelling tests.

Confession...last week Tobias was chosen to be "Star-of-the-Week."  His teacher had to call me on Monday to remind me and ask me to help him finish his poster for the classroom.

Confession...I brought Krispy Kreme donuts to school for Tobias' birthday, which almost was a huge no-no because of the boy in his class with a severe peanut allergy.

We've had a rough start to the school year.  Tobias' days used to be filled with Legos, bike rides and playing with friends.  Not anymore!  Today, his days are filled with school, sports and studying (if I remember).  Tobias gets home from school at 4:15.  On Mondays, he has swimming lessons.  On Wednesdays, he goes to Awana at church.  (Did I mention that he has homework for Awana, too?  Yeah, that's not happening either.)  On Thursdays, he has Spanish after school and then soccer practice in the evening.  Soccer games are on Saturday mornings.  Tobias hasn't seen his best friend (who lives two houses away) in over a week!

Our busy schedule is just part of the problem.  The bigger issue is homework.  Tobias has homework for school, homework for his after-school Spanish class, homework for Awana, and homework (memory verses) for Sunday School.  That's a lot of homework for a 6-year-old.  Frankly, he's a smart kid and can probably handle it.  I, on-the-other-hand, can't--or at least I haven't been able to--handle it so far.

Tobias got 100% on the one spelling test I actually helped him study for.  It didn't take long--about 10 to 15 minutes a night for two nights.  He's a smart kid and picks up things pretty easily, so I just have to make sure I am spending time with him every night on his homework.  That's easier said than done in my current job, but I'm trying to figure out how to balance all the kids.

I was determined Tobias would be ready for his spelling test this week.  We studied for ten minutes on Tuesday evening, but my plan was to cram on Thursday.  His teacher decided to give them the test early (on Thursday) since they were going on a field trip on Friday.  He got only 2 right.  There is always next week, right? 

 

Like the Backstreet Boys, I'm back and better than ever!

I have lots of excuses.  Would you like to hear them?
1) I've had a pretty bad cold for a couple weeks now.
2) My knee cap has been popping in and out of place.  Two weeks ago at the gym it dislocated for a number of seconds and I fell to the ground.  My knee was super sore for a couple days.
3) School is keeping me busy--tons of homework and not enough time.
4) Kevin was out of town last weekend and I was a single parent for four days.
5) Bad news about the unexpected death of a friend.
6) Despite my commitment to working out and eating right, the weight on the scale continued to creep up day-after-day.

About two weeks ago, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.  I was sick, tired and sad.  Although I'd been following "the plan," I had gained four pounds.  Remember the 10 pounds of baby weight I was trying to lose?  It was now 12.  I don't know enough about weight training to know if this is expected, so I was concerned.  I found comfort in Pretzel M&Ms.  Obviously, in retrospect, this was not the best way to handle what was happening, but I don't always handle stress well.

After a couple days of Pretzel M&Ms, I realized I had a problem when I moved onto the bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms.  Higher if fat and calories, the Peanut Butter M&Ms were my rock bottom.  Halfway through the bag, I knew that I needed to get back on the wagon.  The best part of living with eight teenage boys is their ability to make junk food disappear.  I put the Peanut Butter M&Ms in a dish on the table after school and they were devoured within minutes.

I also decided to seek some help...from a personal trainer at the gym.   I have to be able to gain muscle and lose weight at the same time.  They do it all the time on the Biggest Loser!  Stacy, at Prairie Life, was more than willing to help me reach my goals.  I'm going to meet with her and take her group weightlifting class for the next couple months.  I feel better about our plan and I'm looking forward to learning a lot over the next eight weeks.

Oh, and of course, all that concern was for nothing.  The four pounds I thought I'd gained mysteriously disappeared the next week.  Tobias' birthday is in just three weeks and I'm still eight pounds away from my goal.  It's not going to happen, but I think I'm on the right path.  We all have excuses, but I'm tired of using them.  Are YOU ready to buck up? 

Measuring Success with a New Ruler

I was torn this week. Torn because I really didn't want to blog about my results this week, but I wanted to be open and honest about my struggles. So, the big bummer is that I actually gained a pound this week. I have no idea how or why, but that's what the scale said this morning--and apparently scales don't lie. I ate pretty well this week--staying well within my WW "points"--but I probably could have made some healthier choices. I also had a great week at the gym. Two days of weightlifting and two days of cardio. I'm sure there is a good reason why the scale was tipped this week, but Bob and Jillian aren't here to help me figure it out. I've decided to not make any changes and continue what I'm doing for a couple more weeks. Maybe all of this will balance out.

My bigger issue is trying to stay positive. How do you celebrate success when you are unsuccessful? If losing weight is my only measuring stick, then I may be disappointed often. Instead, I can decide to celebrate the fact that I started a weightlifting program and I ran for 18 minutes instead of 15. Isn't that the way it is with many things in life? Yes, we all have goals, but sometimes it is unrealistic to wait until we reach the finish line to start celebrating.

For example...Adelaide is potty-training and she is definitely charting a new course. She is awesome at staying dry. She even gets up in the middle of the night to go potty and is still dry in the morning. She has it mastered...until you get to the dreaded #2. The girl refuses to go poopy on the toilet. We've tried a chart, we've tried prizes, we've tried keeping her naked all day. Nothing works. She just waits until you finally put underwear back on her, hides in her room while you are busy, and does her business in her undies. We are all getting pretty frustrated and it seems like we will never be "successful." This morning, though, she tried something new. She'd been running around naked all morning and I was hoping she'd eventually have to go. I was in the office for a little while when Adelaide came in and told me her pull-up was dirty. The girl had crawled up onto her dresser, found a pull-up and put it on so she could do her thing. No, this is not where we eventually want to be, but I was actually quite proud of her. I didn't have to wash any underwear and she had solved the problem for herself. Instead of getting upset, I praised her for being so resourceful.

So, I'm going to do the same this week. I didn't #2 on the toilet, but I did make some really positive choices for my health. I committed to working out and I followed through. I didn't always make the BEST choices with my diet, but I didn't give up or give in. This week was a success--perhaps not on the scale, but in a much larger sense.

The Strategy

Week one was a success. I managed to lose two pounds. That might sound impressive, but don't be fooled. These two pounds have come and gone more than a few times over the last year. Still, though, I'm proud. Mostly, I'm proud that I made some really positive changes this week. First and foremost, I started eating better. Ever since I went on vacation this summer, my eating habits have been pretty crappy. I used to eat quite healthy, but lately I found myself eating Reese's Miniature PB Cups by the bagful.

I have been a connoisseur of diets for most of my adult life. Truth be told, in the beginning, my "diets" more closely resembled an eating disorder, but we'll save that for the made-for-TV movie. My friend and I once tried Body for Life. We had great success with the exercise/weightlifting portion of the diet, but not as much with the eating plan. Around this same time, I also tried the South Beach Diet. I didn't lose any weight--most likely because I ate my weight in peanut butter every day. My only success has really been with Weight Watchers. I used their plan when I experienced the "first-wed forty." That's much like the freshman fifteen, but more serious. I went back to Weight Watchers when I had Tobias and was able to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight just in time to get pregnant again.

This week, I went back to the Weight Watchers plan. I kept track of what I was eating and limited myself to the allotted points. I think I eat about 1500-1800 calories/day on the Weight Watchers plan, but I'm not really positive. It wasn't hard--I just had to cut out the candy, cookies and sweets. I'm a sweets kind of girl. Go chocolate, or go home! Instead of the high calorie, high fat sweets, I opted for Skinny Cow Candy Bars and Fiber One Brownies. No, they aren't as good as the real ones, but they do the job.

My second big move was to join (or rejoin) a gym. We dropped our membership this winter when I had surgery and we were planning to move. It has been almost nine months since my knee surgery. Time to get back on the horse. I went running three times and met with a trainer for my "jump start" free-training session. The running was brutal, but I've learned not to expect too much. Slow and steady wins the race, right? I only ran 15 minutes each time, but you've got to start somewhere. My training session was awesome. I have never a very good weightlifter, but it is one thing I've thought a lot about doing. I would really like to be more toned, and that isn't going to happen by just losing another ten pounds. The trainer worked me hard. I felt like I was on the Biggest Loser. Since I couldn't walk the next day or sit down on the toilet, I think it is safe to say that I had a good workout.

I'm off to a good start and I hope my motivation sticks around for awhile. Eight pounds to go and just six weeks until Tobias' sixth birthday. Thanks for all your support!

Losing the baby weight

As moms, I think we are entitled to use the kind term "baby weight" to refer to the last 10-15 pounds we still need to lose.  Even if our youngest is graduating from high school.  We've earned that right, but "baby weight" or fat, I'd still rather let it go.

The reality is that our bodies will never be the same.  Even if we lose all the weight, things have...well...shifted.  Add to that the number that breastfeeding does on your figure and you're hardly recognizable.  Still, though, we're all hoping to get back to what we once were.  I look at women like Jennifer Aniston and Demi Moore and I think that maybe I, too, will peak late in life.

Where am I now?  Well, about 10 pounds shy of where I would like to be.  Luckily, my youngest is nowhere near college-age, but I'd still rather deal with this issue now.  This summer has been rough.  Vacations, busy schedules, and ice cream have halted any forward progress I'd been making.  My hope is that telling you about my goal will inspire me to be more diligent.  The challenge?  10 pounds before Tobias turns 6 (October 5th).  The prize?   A shopping spree (feel free to contribute).  The risk?  My pride.  How will I do it?  Check back to find out what is working and what obstacles I face.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day.

Look how far we've come.  I'm laying in bed, typing this short blog on my smartphone and adding pics straight from my camera.  Who knew?

I'm taking a class this summer on social media and I'm learning tons.  Most importantly, I'm learning that I really don't know much about social media.  So, I'm trying some new things, like posting a blog from my cell phone.

This summer has been busy, and mostly with stuff that isn't all that fun.  I miss being a kid and having three months of complete freedom.  Days were filled with going swimming, riding bikes and seeing friends.  For that reason alone, I sometimes wish I'd been a teacher.

We DID just get back from a family vacation on the east coast, though.  We spent time in NYC, New Hampshire and Maine.  We had a fantastic time, but I learned a few things about traveling with kids. 

1. Airlines don't seem to have a system to ensure you will be sitting by your small children.  Be prepared to make a scene (politely, of course) at the gate until they can make suitable arrangements.  Definitely don't settle, even if the gate attendant tells you that many 5-year-olds fly by themselves.

2. If traveling by car, make sure to have plenty of snacks--even if you plan to stop for dinner.  When we left NYC to drive to New Hampshire, all we had in the car was a bag of Goldfish and some M&Ms.  The kids fell asleep and we were stuck in rush hour traffic so we really didn't want to stop.  Starving, we ate everything we had in the car.  I definitely overdid it on the chocolate.

3. Kids will swim--even if it is freezing!  In Maine, while the adults were shivering in sweatshirts and jeans, the kids swam in the lake.  If you don't want to get in the water with them, make sure to bring life jackets.  Luckily, Adelaide was content in the sand.

4. Bribery is 100% acceptable while on vacation.  Tobias' five-year-old legs were tired after walking around NY all day.  His attitude starting going downhill fast until I told him we could buy a Justin Bieber picture on Canal Street.  There was suddenly a spring in his step and he got his picture while I found a purse!

5. Whenever possible, get a place with a separate room for the kids.  We had the hardest time getting Tobias and Adelaide to settle down in a room we were all sharing.  When they finally did fall asleep, Kevin and I hung out in the bathroom to pass the time.  Thank goodness I have my Kindle hooked up with my phone so I could read in bed without a light on!

Most importantly, remind yourself that family vacations are about having fun and making memories--not getting rest!

What I learned from reading a trashy tabloid...

     I was standing in line at the grocery store yesterday when the latest issue of Star Magazine caught my eye.  The cover said "Stars Lose Fight with Cellulite" and showed a number of people with dimple-covered thighs.  Intrigued, I picked up the magazine and found the photo spread inside.  Guess who has cellulite?  Britney Spears, Heidi Montag, Kate Gosselin, Gayle King, Hillary Swank, Kelly Clarkson, Katie Holmes and Jennifer Aniston.  Really, all of those beautiful, thin women have cellulite?

     This revelation started the wheels spinning in my head.  CELEBRITIES have cellulite, and I have cellulite, and many of my friends have cellulite.  Could it possibly be that MOST women have cellulite?  Shocking!

     I am well aware of the negative messages the media has been sending us about beauty.  I commend companies like Dove for taking a stand.  Their "Campaign for Real Beauty" is about teaching young girls to be self-confident.  They are committed to using "real" models in their ads, not the size 0 model that we often see in magazines.  I love their film that shows how a very average looking woman is turned into a billboard supermodel.  http://www.dove.us/#/features/videos/default.aspx[cp-documentid=7049579]

     Despite the fact that I know all of this, I have always felt I got the short end of the stick (cellulite speaking).  According to The Health Guide online, though, over 90 percent of women in the industrial world have cellulite.  (http://www.thehealthguide.org/cellulite/there-is-a-large-percent-of-people-with-cellulite/)  Apparently, being part of the industrial world is where I went wrong!  If only I had been born somewhere in the rain forest of South America...

     So, this summer, I'm taking my cellulite covered thighs to the beach, where I will be introducing them to a whole bunch of other cellulite covered thighs.  If Jennifer Aniston and Katie Holmes have cellulite, then what the heck am I worried about?  Although, maybe THAT is the reason Brad left Jen.  I'll have to check into whether or not Angelina Jolie has any cellulite.  She's probably in the 10 percent, but we won't judge her for being so abnormal!    

    

    

She said what???

     As a mom of two young children, I am well aware that kids often say completely embarrassing things out of pure innocence.  I wasn't phased when my 2-year-old son declared loudly, "That man is black," on the way out of a restaurant one day.  I calmly explained that, while he is African-American, it is not necessary to comment on the color of someone's skin.  I wasn't shocked when that same child pointed out that I had a large pimple on my face.  Thanks, but mommy is well aware of her pimple.  Naturally, kids comment on the world around them without any judgement or ill-will. 

    I am prepared for all sorts of comments, but not for what I thought I heard last week.  I was co-hosting a baby shower for a friend that already had her baby.  I volunteered to hold the 2-month-old while the mom got some food to eat.  Adelaide spied me from across the room and started whining.  Arms raised in a "pick me up" gesture, Adelaide hurried over to us.  Unable to pick them both up, I sat down on the couch and tried to talk to Adelaide about the baby girl I was holding.  Adelaide reached for her and said, "I want to k____ her."  It wasn't completely clear WHAT she wanted to do to the baby, I asked if she wanted to kiss her.  "No, I don't want to kiss her, I want to k______ her."

    "You want to what?"

     "I want to k______ her," Adelaide said again.  All during this conversation, Adelaide kept grabbing at the baby.  I could not figure out what she was saying, but it sounded a lot like "I want to kill her."  Just as Adelaide and I were having this back-and-forth conversation, baby's mom walked up.  Once again, Adelaide said the unthinkable.

     "I want to kill her." 

     The more she said it, the clearer it sounded.  My friend pretended not to hear the same thing, but I was mortified.  Unsure of what to do, I told my friend that it sounded like Adelaide was saying she wanted to kill her.  Where would my sweet and innocent little girl have learned such a thing?  My mind was spinning--what had she watched, who had she been around, how did this happen, and how do I get through this incredibly awkward situation?

     I stopped letting Adelaide talk and just started cooing over the baby.  Isn't she cute, Adelaide?  Look at her little fingers.  Oh, she has a giraffe on her jammies.  Isn't it cute?  After a couple minutes, baby's mom walked off again.  Just in time, too, because Adelaide then started asking me to put the baby on the ground.  Not again, I thought.  Why does she want the baby to be on the ground?  Feeling like a horrible mother with a jealous little daughter, I decided to return the baby and put this conversation to rest.  Just then, Adelaide said it one more time...

     "I want to carry her!" 

     "You want to CARRY her?" I asked.

     "Yes, I want to carry her!"  My little girl didn't want to kill the baby, she wanted to carry her!  She wanted the baby down on the floor so she could play with her!  She is a loving little mom, not a homicidal toddler!  I wasted no time finding baby's mom and letting her know what Adelaide really said.  She laughed--obviously not very concerned.  I, on-the-other-hand, felt complete relief.  My little angel's good-nature was still in tact.  Thank goodness!

   

Turns out TV has a downside! Who knew?

Confession...my kids watch television.  There it is, folks.  Feel free to judge me.  When I had my first child, I was determined to keep him from TV.  I think I read an article once about the possible link between early television watching and ADHD.  If I remember correctly, the article said that it has something to do with flashing images on the screen.  Anyway, it was "proof" enough for me.  Tobias didn't really start watching television until he was two.  With our second child, however, there was no hope.

By the time Adelaide was born, Tobias was a 3 1/2-year-old TV junkie.  Plus, I started working full-time again when she was six-weeks-old.  Like most newborns, Adelaide didn't pay any attention to what her brother was watching.  Sometime after her first birthday, though, that started to change.  Dora has always been her favorite, but she's branched out a little.  Ni Hao, Kai Lan, Wonder Pets, Backyardigans...she will watch them all.  If Adelaide walks into the living room and the TV isn't on, she immediately turns it on.  I turn it off, she turns it on.  I turn it off, she turns it on.  It's a game we play ALL day long.

My only consolation has been that, at least, most of the shows are educational.  Adelaide was speaking in 4-5 word sentences by 19 months.  At her 2-year-old check up, I told her doctor that she could count to 10.  Apparently, that was pretty unusual and not something they would normally ask.  She knows her shapes, she can identify numbers 1-10, and she has learned many letters too.  All-in-all, I think she's a genius, and since I didn't teach her any of this, I guess I owe TV a big thanks!

There is a "but."  Back to my original point...TV has a downside.  Many of these wonderfully educational shows are bilingual.  I didn't mention before that Adelaide knew how to count to ten in English and in Spanish, did I?  After five years of French, I am still unable to carry on a conversation with someone.  I would love for my kids to learn a second language.  Unfortunately, being able to speak Chinese and Spanish might not always be helpful.

In January, my family went out to dinner at Red Robin.  After finishing her dinner, Adelaide was starting to climb around the booth.  She was turned around, facing the group in the booth behind us, when I heard her say, "Ni hao."  I turned to Adelaide to see what she was doing.  She smiled at me, waved to the family in the booth, and said, "Ni hao."  I turned completely around, then, and noticed that the nice family behind us was Asian.  Oh, embarrassing.  Impressive, but embarrassing.

Just the other day, I was busy on the computer when I heard Adelaide yelling from the other room.  "Mommy, ayudame."  I decided that she was speaking gibberish, so I continued with my homework.  The call came again.  "Mommy, ayudame.  Ayudame!"  Unable to ignore her anymore, I got up to see what she was doing.  Turns out, Adelaide was stuck in a chair and had slipped through the arm rest.  "Ayudame," she said to me one more time.  Much to her relief, I helped her out.  Later that day, as Adelaide watched Dora, I heard one of Dora's friends cry out, "Ayudame."  Of course, ayudame means help.  Doesn't she know that I took French, not Spanish?  How about calling out, "Aidez-moi?"

So, thanks to Dora, my daughter and I can't communicate with one another.  Thanks to Kai Lan, my daughter thinks that every Asian-American speaks Chinese.  Oh well, I guess there are worse things in the world.  I still think she is a genius.  Gracias, Dora.  Xie Xie, Kai Lan.

Favorite Home Remedies

I woke up this morning with an extremely sore throat.  Since cough drops are not something we normally keep in the house, I immediately thought about gargling salt water.  Growing up, this was always my dad's first response when we were getting sick.  I rarely did it because I find it incredibly disgusting.  My throat hurt so badly, though, that I was willing to try anything.  I forced myself to gargle sips of warm salt water for about a minute.  Just as I remembered, it was disgusting and I stifled a few gags.  Miracle of all miracles happened--my throat felt MUCH better.  I could swallow again without horrible pain.  My dad was right!  Why did I ever doubt him?

My successful home cure this morning got me thinking...what other home remedies have I found to be tried and true?  I started with the salt water gargle.  Of course, there is actual evidence behind this cure.  According to an article last year in the NY Times, "A saline solution can draw excess fluid from inflamed tissues in the throat, making them hurt less."  (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/28/health/28real.html)
It cannot cure a cold, but it certainly helps with some of the symptoms.

I've also become a big fan of using honey to soothe a sore throat a cough.  This past year, my five-year-old son has had trouble sleeping because of a severe cough.  Cough medicines are no longer recommended for children under four, and I'd rather avoid them altogether.  My mom, who is a pediatric nurse, recommended that we try giving him a spoonful of honey.  My son--who hates medicine--loves honey, so this was an easy sell.  This remedy was affirmed recently by a study at the Mayo Clinic.  According to Dr. James Steckelberg, "Honey seemed to reduce nighttime coughing and improve sleep. In fact, in the study, honey appeared to be as effective as the cough suppressant dextromethorphan in typical over-the-counter doses." (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/honey/AN01799)  One reminder...honey should not be given to children under the age of one because it can cause infant botulism.

My son also has nose bleeds in the winter.  We've had him checked out and there is nothing wrong with him aside from his inability to keep his finger out of his nose.  It is the dry air (and the picking) that causes his nose bleeds.  While vacationing in Breckenridge last winter, Tobias had multiple nose bleeds every day.  Lucky for us, we were on vacation with a friend that happens to be an ENT doctor.  She gave me a list of things to pick up at the store.  First, we needed a humidifier for his room.  Second, she suggested buying Afrin nose spray.  Although this should not be used excessively or for an extended period of time, a squirt into the nose when a bleed starts will help constrict blood vessels and stop the bleed.  Finally, she told me to get some a bottle of saline nasal spray (Ocean makes one version).  This can be used multiple times a day to keep the inside of the nose moist.  According to a nurse at Boys Town, there is also a saline gel that can be put into the nose a couple times a day.  This combination seemed to do the trick and Tobias' nosebleeds slowed down.

Finally, I have to digress from the cold/flu solutions for this last remedy.  A few months ago, I washed a load of laundry with a purple crayon.  (This one belonged to Tobias, not Harold.)  I did some research online and WD40 seemed to be way to go.  It worked on many of the items, but left an oily stain on others.  Instead, I found that the all-purpose cleaner, Simple Green, did a good job on the crayon and the oil.  Just last week, I found a small grease stain on our couch.  My husband was taking apart his skateboard and set a greasy bearing down on the couch.  I had just listed the couch on Craigslist, so I was anxious to get it cleaned.  I pulled out the Simple Green and was amazed at how easily it removed the stain.  I rinsed the area with a wet washcloth and the couch looked perfect.

I'm not all organic and I definitely support modern medicine (and vaccinations, if you are curious), but I'm all about using things I have at home if they work.  I'll let you know if I find more to add to my list, or please feel free to share your favorite home remedy!

Will Work for Chocolate

I'm not ashamed to admit that I bribe my kids.  Well, maybe I'm a little bit ashamed, but that is what this blog is all about--being imperfect.  Anyway, I bribe my kids.  I'll use chocolate, television, or whatever it takes.  I was on vacation this past week, and I gave my son brownies for helping me pick up, offered my daughter M&Ms to eat her green beans and bought doughnuts just in case I needed something for bartering.  My five-year-old is easy.  The promise of a brownie worked two nights in a row.  My daughter, on-the-other-hand, is a little more challenging.  At two-years-old, she loves chocolate and has a special soft spot for M&Ms.  She also has a serious aversion to green beans.  So, despite her love for the rainbow colored chocolates, she refused to make a deal.  She's a pretty stubborn girl when she wants to be.  In case you are wondering how she gets any nutrients, rest assured.  She drinks V-8 Fusion all day long--it has a serving of fruit and a serving of vegetables in each cup!

I love chocolate (a little too much) and it has not always been a good friend to me.  Sometimes I feel guilty for indulging my kids and sharing my chocolate obsession with them.  I spent the past week with my sister, who is an awesome mom.  She feeds her daughter organic food, adds vegetables to everything, and limits her intake of anything sweet.  She's my older sister, so I guess it's normal to look up to her (even if I was a mom first).  I wish I were more like her, or that my kids were more like my niece and ate all that good food.  Just when I really start to feel bad, though, I remember that my daughter was so small she was off the growth chart for much of her first year.  She is healthy and growing now, but she is a far cry from being overweight.  I also remember that eventually I will be able to make her eat vegetables.  My son still doesn't like them, but he knows that he can't leave the table until he is done with his vegetables.  It's a work in progress and I'm pretty sure everyone will be okay in the end.  So, I'm not going to feel guilty about it.  In fact, I think it is time for some brownies!